Letting Go
by 2gsdip
Summary: She threw her clothes everywhere and screamed that we couldn't make her leave...and then she finally started crying." This is a 2-chap. one-shot of the end of "That first week" in New Moon. Charlie and Bella's POV
1. I'm Staying

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This is another 2-chapter one shot that takes place in NEW MOON During "That first week".

**First chapter is Bella's POV.**

**I own nothing, these awesome characters belong to the brilliant Stephanie Meyer. ;)**

* * *

**Letting Go**

Part one:

"I'm staying"

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_**~Remember that pain has this most excellent quality. If prolonged it cannot be severe, and if severe it cannot be prolonged~**_

_**Seneca**_

* * *

"_And for all that…I'd have fared better if I had exposed us all that first moment, than if now, here—with no witnesses and nothing to stop me—I were to hurt you"_

_I was human enough to ask._

"_Why?"_

"_Isabella." He pronounced my full name carefully, then playfully ruffled my hair with his free hand. _

"_Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me."_

_--_

"_You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."_

_--_

"_Be very still" _

_Slowly, never moving his eyes from mine, he leaned toward me. _

_The abruptly, but very gently, he rested his cold cheek against the hollow at the base of my throat._

_--_

_His face drifted to the side, his nose skimming across my collarbone. He came to rest with the side of his face pressed tenderly against my chest. _

_Listening to my heart._

"_Ah"_

_--_

"_Here" He took my hand and placed it against his cheek "Do you feel how warm it is?"_

_--_

"_I don't know how to be close to you" he admitted. "I don't know if I can"_

_I leaned forward slowly, cautioning him with my eyes. _

_I placed my cheek against his stone chest. _

_I could hear his breath and nothing else._

"_This is enough" _

_In a very human gesture, he put his arms around me and pressed his face against my hair._

_-- _

I smiled softly.

It was a strange feeling and right at the beginning I felt a dangerous sliver of hope….it was small, easily blown away by the slightest of breaths, but still there.

The slight movement proved that I had muscles even if they no longer worked, it proved that I did indeed have a mouth even if it no longer spoke…. which in the end proved that I did possess a face, even if it no longer mattered.

But as I cracked open my dry eyes…eyes I knew existed on the face I still couldn't quite feel…that millisecond of hope was thrown away in crushing pain of reality.

Because it was not bright green grass, wild spring flowers, or shinning bronze hair that I saw…it was the same thing that was always there when I opened my eyes: Curved wooden legs of an old rocking chair, the brown fabric of a sweater sleeve dangling over the side, and the same four blocks of light splayed on a wooden floor.

Something in the back of my mind told me the shapes of light had to be formed by some kind of window….but I never saw the window so I couldn't be sure. Every time I opened my eyes though, the colors would be different….bright white, silver blue, deep orange, and sometimes…..sometimes it would be black…empty.

I like those times the best, the times when my eyes could make out nothing. Because they were tired eyes, eyes that had seen too much and didn't want to look anymore. After all what was the point of looking when there was nothing to see?

Yes the eyes…._my_ eyes, preferred the blackness.

* * *

"Bella?" A voice came from the nothingness around me. This voice was different from the one I was use too. It called the same name as always though, a name I didn't know.

Who was Bella?

Who was that woman speaking?

I could feel a familiarity rising inside me. My dead mind was trying to tell my numb body that I knew this voice and that the voice knew me. But how could I place the voice when I couldn't even place myself?

Who was I?

Where was I?

Who's face was it that just broke up my normal view? It wasn't the brown-eyed man I was use to.

"Bella….sweetheart?"

I realized these questions should bother me in some way. It didn't seem right _not_ knowing….it seemed wrong to see a familiar face and not know who she was.

But it didn't matter because nothing mattered anymore.

Not her face, not the name, not even the question of who I was. It was of no consequence….completely irrelevant because all meaning had already left the world….and everything left behind was wrong.

The face leaning towards me was not the right face, the words were not the right words.

The eyes were not suppose to be blue, the hair not suppose to be a light brown.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Therefore it was all meaningless.

Why wasn't the face right?

Why could I see lips moving and hear no words?

Why was I here?

Where _was_ here?

Something touched my face, lightly running across what I supposed was my cheek.

WRONG!

No.

_DON'T TOUCH ME!_

In that second a message finally made it from my brain to my body. And as my mind screamed in protest at the wrong touch my eyes squeezed shut.

Black.

Safe darkness again.

* * *

"….leave this place."

Those words triggered something inside me. Those three words were more wrong than anything else combined. I didn't know who I was or where I was, but I knew that I could not leave this place….Where ever _this place_ may be, though I couldn't pinpoint the exact reason just yet.

All I knew was that I _must_ stay….that leaving was absolutely impossible.

"….she has….can't be…..one….seeing that…."

More words, scrambled and broken up, as if they were being said through a thick blanket or deep waters. But this voice was not the women, it was the deep voice of a man….the same man I heard all the time, always asking for a Bella.

A small part of me always wondered when the man would learn that no Bella existed here.

"Renee?

Another name. A name I seemed to know from somewhere.... it went with the blue eyed face, went with the wrong touch. I was sure of that.

Before anything else could be placed together though I heard a strange noise.

It was the woman. Renee.

What was that? My clouded ears continued to listen. "I'm sorry….it's just, I've never seen her like this…."

Sobbing, that's what I was hearing. She was crying….why?

She should not cry because for some reason the sound hurt my ears. It pulled at my mental processes and made something inside my hollow chest constrict.

I needed to help her.

It was my responsibility. She needed me....she needed me because I was me….I was….

"….Bella will love Florida…."

I was Bella.

Bella….

_Bella._

It clicked then and my eyes opened.

The puzzled pieces were sucked towards me violently.

I knew who I was and where I was.

_Renee_.

Renee, my mom….my friend.

She was here?

But why?....She hated here.

My eyes moved slowly, the unused muscles making the simple gesture seem very foreign. I blinked a few times until the scene came into focus. I felt another movement….my forehead tightening. I tried to find the right muscles that would move my lips.

"Mom?"

Movement but no sound.

I swallowed thickly and looked more closely at what I was actually seeing.

Before the surprise of seeing my mom in Charlie's arms could fully sink in something else caught my eye. Something else wrong with the picture.

Some drawers in my dresser were open and a suit case lay on top full of my old T-shirts.

They did _not_ belong there.

"Mom?"

This time there was noise. It was a hoarse, dry sound that was quiet and unfamiliar. It hurt my throat on its way out, but it seemed to be enough. Renee jerked away from Charlie and spun around….her wet, blue eyes wide.

"Bella?....Oh you're….you're awake." She rushed to my side and knelt down. Her fingers….warm and soft ran through my hair.

The contact made my empty stomach churn and tighten.

"Hey, sweetheart."

My eyes flickered quickly to my father's pale face and back. I was confused.

"What are you doing here?" More words cracked painfully up my throat before I thought them through completely.

"Charlie called and told me what happened," Renee answered with a small sniff.

Another quick glance at Charlie. He looked shocked and …..and _scared_….why?

"I'm so sorry baby."

I didn't understand….she hadn't answered my question yet.

"I….I don't….understand…."

Did I say that out loud?

"I'm here bring you home sweetie….It's going to be okay….I'm…."

"I am home."

I blinked a few times, trying to make sense of everything. Why were my thoughts being spoken?

"Bella look at me."

I obeyed, just now realizing I was looking at my dresser.

"I think it's time you come home so I can take care of you."

I continued to look into my mother's eyes….she wasn't making any sense.

I felt the bed shift and a light pressure on my knee. Looking down I saw Charlie sitting on the edge of the mattress with his hand resting on my curled up leg.

"She's right Bells," Charlie's voice was rough and quite. This was not Charlie….I didn't understand. "I think it would be better for you to be with your mother right now."

"You don't want me?"

Pain stabbed through my chest and I felt the air gush painfully down my throat. My lungs filled and froze, as if waiting to be sucked beneath water.

Everything changed....

I was somewhere else.... looking, not at my father, but....

"_No._"

Hearing the word again, laced with the smoothness of memory made me jerk away in self preservation. My mind began to recede again…I could feel myself slipping.

I quickly squeezed my eyes shut before it was too late….blocking the blurred and yet still beautiful face.

When I finally managed to open my eyes I was back. Charlie was still speaking. "….But I want you to be happy Bells, and I don't think that's going to happen if you stay here."

"What do you mean?....I…."

A warm hand touched my face again.

I jerked away.

Enough was enough.

Didn't they know by now that it was wrong?

I looked back at my mother. She had frozen, her hand still raised in the air. Her eyes were shocked and hurt as they flickered from Charlie, to me, and back again.

After a few seconds she composed herself and dropped her hand. "Bella I'm taking you back with me….back to Florida."

'_I'm surprised. I thought Florida….and your mother….well, I thought that's what you would want.'_

"No." My mind wanted to shout the word but my body still wasn't functioning properly and all that came out was a hoarse whisper. I wasn't even sure who I was talking to anymore….but it seemed nobody had heard anyway because Renee got back to her feet and walked back to my dresser.

"Phil's getting your room ready for us…." She grabbed another shirt. _My_ shirt.

'_But you'd be stuck inside all day in Florida. You'd only be able to come out at night, just like a real vampire.'_

I hadn't realized I was on my feet and moving until I was standing in front of Renee.

"I already talked to the school and they said all of your grades can be transferred…."

'_I would stay in Forks Bella. Or somewhere like it.'_

"I even found out that there's a few advanced courses that Forks doesn't…."

My hand shot out and ripped the shirt from my mother's grasp before she could place it with the others.

'_Someplace where I couldn't hurt you anymore.'_

"What are you doing?"

Mechanically and with shaking hands I folded my shirt back up. When I went to place it in the right drawer I saw that it was empty. I glanced at the other…._empty_.

As my eyes took in the bare bottoms something inside of me snapped….broke open and released something I did not want to face, but something that couldn't be stopped.

It was disorienting, feeling the rush of anger….the _emotion_. I had been frozen and numb for so long….I had built a damn blocking out anything and everything.

Not anymore.

_Heat_….burning raw heat filled my body. I could feel it searing my face as my hands moved faster and faster….grabbing and shoving my clothes back where they belonged. I was shaking so hard all I could mange was a sloppy roll up before I shoved them into the drawers. I didn't care….as long as they were still in _this_ room…._my_ room.

A hand came out of nowhere, stopping my progress and reminding me that I was not alone.

"Bella….Bella stop! What are you doing?"

"No!"

This time my voice was loud….clear and strong. It ripped open my dry throat and I welcomed the pain.

'_But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place.'_

"No!....I'm staying….I'm staying!"

'_Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school.'_

"Bells calm down….let's just talk about...."

"NO!"

My shaking hands reached out and grabbed hand-full's of my clothes. I flung them behind me….one after the other.

They landed on the floor, my bed….everywhere. Mine. This was my room, my clothes…._me_. They couldn't make me leave….I lived _here_….in Forks.

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LEAVE!"

Forks is my home….I lived here….he lived here….Forks was _his_ home.

"FORKS IS MY HOME….my….my….!"

I couldn't breathe, it hurt. A boulder was lodged in my chest….huge and unyielding. It seemed to be gaining pressure with each passing second….weighing me down and cutting off my oxygen.

"HE….I…."

I couldn't see. My vision had turned to blurred colors and my face felt wet….and I still couldn't breathe.

My hands searched blindly for more of my clothes.

I found none.

This only made me angrier.

I could hear my parents but the words they shouted at me meant nothing.

There was nothing but nothing.

I grabbed the suitcase and spun around, flinging it with all the strength I could manage.

I was glad when I heard the loud crash as it connected with the wall.

"Isabella!" Both voices shouted at the same time.

"NO!"

Someone grabbed my arm and I wrenched away, stumbling back into my desk.

Something crashed nosily to the floor but I didn't care.

"You can't make me….I won't ….I can't…._NO_!…."

Hands. Strong warm hands grabbed my shoulders and pulled me forward roughly.

I fought….twisting and thrashing….Incoherent words and screams ripped from my throat.

But I wasn't strong enough.

I couldn't break free.

"Let me go!....I'm staying!....I'M STAYING!"

'_Did you have your eyes open this afternoon? Do you think I could walk down the street without causing traffic accidents?'_

"It's not real….I'm staying….I….Forks…._NO_!"

'_There's a reason we chose the Olympic Peninsula, one of the most sunless places in the world.'_

"_NO_!"

I was trapped. Locked tight against a warm chest.

_Wrong_. The warmth….the smell.

I didn't want to feel it, but I couldn't move. My struggles were pointless.

"NO!"

'_It's nice to be able to go outside in the day. You won't believe how tired you can get of nighttime in 80 odd years.'_

"Let _GO_!" My fists beat weakly against the warmth, but the arms just held me tighter. A hand cupped the back of my head and I was pressed into my father's shoulder.

I didn't want these arm to hold me. I didn't want to be comforted….not by him.

"NO!...._STOP_!"

It was wrong….so wrong. All of it.

But then I realized, as my body became more alive, that without these arms around me now I would fall apart….shatter to pieces.

A part of me _wanted_ to shatter, wanted to give in....but a larger part realized why I couldn't.

Once that happened, once I gave in, there would be no going back…there would be no more fighting it.

I would have to face the fact that these warm arm were the only ones I was going to get...

_No_.

I _had_ to keep fighting.

Giving up was too terrifying….the uncertainty of what would come after had me frozen in fear.

But I was tired….so very tired.

"N-No!"

I was too drained to fight it off anymore.

The boulder in my chest exploded and my mind and body reconnected. Sharp shards of pain extended throughout my body, attacking every muscle….every nerve.

As the agonized sob tore up my throat the rest of my strength went with it.

My knees buckled and the body holding me went down too.

"Ple….please…._please_…." I was left to begging, the words somehow making it out between the sobs.

"It's alright….I'm here Bells….I'm here."

'_Bella I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here as long as you need me.'_

The pain was too much. I tried to push it out of chest…_physically_ remove the hole I could feel ripping its way from the inside out.

The sobs only seemed to grow louder and harder at the effort….only seemed to make the pain worse.

There was no removing it….no escaping.

I had lost my fight and there was no going back now.

'_I swear.'_

Something between a scream and growl escaped my mouth. "He pro-omised….he….he sa-said….he…."

'_I told you I'm not going anywhere. Don't be afraid.'_

I was afraid. Never in my entire life had I been more frightened than in this moment.

As I choked on my tears and tried to breathe with no air, I knew my life was over. I wasn't going to survive.

After all one needed a heart to live.

I had no heart.

There was nothing in my chest now….no heart to keep me living and no boulder to protect me.

All that was left in their absence was a hole. A deep excruciating hole that seemed to be growing with each second. It throbbed and tore through me…._consuming_. The only thing that kept me from being sucked into its depths….the only thing that held me forcibly to this world, was Charlie's arms.

The only arms I had.

'_As long as it makes you happy I'll be here.'_

"Forever!....I….I told….hi-im….I sa-aid…."

'_Oh, you'll get over it it's just a crush.'_

My head shook frantically against Charlie's chest. "No!....I can't….I….I _ca-an't_…"

'_That's the beautiful thing about being human, things change.'_

"No…n-_no_…" My trembling arms wrapped around my father and my hands grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. It was the only anchor I had, the only thing I had left to hold on to. It was the one thing in this unbelievable storm that could be considered real. It was the only thing I had left now and I wasn't going to let it go.

There would be no change…._ever_. I wouldn't allow it.

Charlie would never leave his job, never leave his friends.

He would never leave _Forks_.

Neither would I.

As long as I held Charlie to me they couldn't make me leave.

The green forests, misty rain, thick clouds, and murky fog….those things were real. They existed. And as long as they existed so did _he_….and as long as he existed so did I.

'_It will be as if I never existed.'_

"I can't….I can't do this….It's not re-eal…He's…he's real….he li-ied to me….he _LIED_!"

"I know Bells, I know…."

"Please Daddy…._please_….I do-on't want to le-leave….I don't….I….I can't….if I….if…."

I couldn't get the words out. I was too dizzy from lack of air and the pain was too strong. I couldn't say the most important thing: That if I left Forks I wouldn't survive.

"Alright Bells, okay….It's okay. You can stay….It will be alright. We'll get through this baby….we'll get through it."

I wanted to tell him no, that it was impossible. But the sobs that continued to shake every bone in my body wouldn't allow air into my lungs, much less allow words out.

There was just too much pain.

_Everywhere_.

My eyes ached, my throat burned, and my chest felt like it was ripping apart…._tearing,_ and each new sob only made the pain intensify. They cut right through me, making the muscles in my back lock and spasm, made my stomach burn and tighten.

But I couldn't stop….I didn't know how.

Because there was something infinitely worse than the physical pain. It ate at me from the inside, slowly gnawing it's way to the surface.

It was something that I had blocked off, the reason I had been shut down for so long.

It wasn't so much the reality as it was the _truth_ behind the reality.

It was a truth I had been hiding from.

But seeing my mother pack my things with the intention of removing me from the one place I had a chance of existing in….the desolate thought of being forced to leave had made me understand. Made me face the truth.

A very small, hidden part of myself had been counting on my savior…._hoping_.

My angel.

He had been there to rescue me from numerous dangers, had been there to erase my pain and wash away my fear. So surely he would have come. It had made perfect sense that as long as I laid in the same spot, drowning in the worse pain I had ever felt and been frozen with the worse fear, he would show up to save me from it all. That small but strong part of my dead mind had had no doubt that he would come back.

In that dark and endless time where I had shut down my mind I had not been _hiding_ from the truth…. I had been _waiting_.

But right now, feeling the pain ten-fold, feeling the broken air bubbling up and down my sore throat, I realized why I hurt so very much….why I couldn't stop the sobs, couldn't stop the agonized shaking.

That small part of me I had buried, with the desperate hope of keeping alive, was no longer there.

I had been thrown into reality, _forced_ to see the truth and in so doing that small part of me was now dead. _Gone_.

There was nothing left now _but_ the truth.

The agonizing reality that he was gone and no amount of waiting or hoping would bring him back to me.

_Ever_.

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**Okay, how was it. It was my first time taking a stab at the most depressing story **_**ever**_**. **

**When Charlie explained this part to Alice I always wanted to "see" what really happened, so yeah this is the outcome.**

**Leave a review and let me know what you think….AND if you want Charlie's POV of this. I've never written from Charlie's POV before so it was kind of interesting to get into his head.**


	2. She's Staying

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Here's part two…..This wouls have been up alot sooner ut the website has been having issues. I'm not sure about anyone else but I haven't been able to log on for the last couple of days. :( I was going a bit crazy LOL!

**Anyhoo h****ere's Charlie's POV like promised. ;)**

* * *

**Letting Go**

Part Two: 

"She's_ staying"_

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_~ "I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more" ~_

_C.S. Lewis_

* * *

It truly was the last thing I wanted to do, but what other choice did I have? It has been nearly week ….a _week_ since I found my daughter curled up on her bedroom floor. I had known it was going to be bad. Despite my dislike of the previous circumstances I knew my daughter had loved that boy.

_Did_ love him.

Even now.

I had no doubt that that was the reason for the problems now. He was the reason Bella hadn't moved so much as an inch or spoken a single word in little over five days. The muteness I could handle….to an extent. It was the non eating part that worried me.

Okay so _worry_ was an understatement. I was terrified.

This was not normal….it wasn't normal for anybody, but it especially wasn't normal for my Bella. Something had to be done….my daughter couldn't continue wasting away right in front of me while I stood by helpless.

I was powerless. I knew what had to be done….I needed help…. No, _she_ needed help. It was the kind of help I wasn't able to give but I was too much of a coward to make that phone call. I just couldn't do it….it wasn't right.

So I had only one option left. Yesterday I called the one person I knew who could handle this the way I never could. The one person who had a chance at snapping Bella out of this. The person who had inflicted so much pain on me….the same pain my daughter was feeling.

I might as well face the simple truth now….the plain fact that was written into every one of my mistakes…

I just wasn't cut out to be a father.

I have worked very hard over the years to earn the title 'Chief of Police'. People look at me and what they see is a cop, a protector, and law enforcer. Others look up to me, follow my orders, and respect me on many different levels. But that is merely the clothing I wear….it goes with the badge and jacket.

Because on the inside there is one thing I could never fight.

One thing that always seemed to bring me to my knees and leave me with nothing.

The destructive power of love.

_Love_.

I will never understand how a meaning so large….so _dangerous…._ could be contained in four little letters.

Nearly 18 years ago I had been broken by this word.

And now I was seeing history repeat itself in the one thing that truly mattered.

The sound of a car coming down the road pulled me from my thoughts. With a deep sigh I pushed myself from the table and walked towards the window. Part of me was hoping it was her, and the other was hoping it was another false alarm.

Due to the early hour there weren't very many cars on this little road.

I didn't have to wait long.

My stomach dropped into my feet when I saw the yellow cab pull into my driveway. As soon as she stepped out of the car and closed the door I regretted my decision.

But I had no other option.

It was this, I reminded myself, or….hospitalization.

Four quick, sharp knocks on the wooden door made my heart skip a beat.

Taking in a steadying breath I walked the six paces it took to get to the front door. The very door where….so many years ago my love had walked out, taking my world with her.

As my hand closed over the door handle, my breath caught in my throat and froze there.

I could do this….for Bells….she needed this and so I would face this.

I pulled the door open and there she was….my Achilles heel….

"Renee…."

"Where is she Charlie?" Renee pushed by me quickly without any further greeting. Her steps were fast and demanding as she walked down the hall pulling off her gloves along the way.

I stood there for a few seconds looking after her. By the time I managed to compose myself, close the door, and follow after her she was walking from the living room into the kitchen. When my quick glance told her Bella wasn't in either she headed straight for the stairs.

I crossed the room in three long strides and grabbed her arm.

"Wait."

She jerked away and turned her head to glare up at me.

The memory was fast in coming and very strong.

'_Just let me go Charlie.' _

"Why?" Renee demanded. "Where is she?"

I blinked a few times….pulling myself back to the present. Having her here….under this roof after so many years was making my head spin. It was almost too much to deal with….almost. But there was something….no _someone_ much more important than my own, un-dealt with issues.

Renee was tired of me not answering her questions and called Bella's name loudly….expecting her daughter to no doubt answer her.

"She's upstairs Renee, but…." She went to move towards the stairs but I stumbled forward quickly to block her progress. Her blue eyes widened and then lit up. Despite the rage I saw there, they were still beautiful.

"I know you're worried, I should have called you sooner but I hoped she would pull out of this on her own…."

"Pull out of what….?"

"It's bad Renee….I didn't think it would…."

"_Bad_?" Her brow furrowed and she went to move around me, I side stepped blocking her way again.

"I don't have time for this I want to see Bella...._now_."

"Please, just give me a second to explain," I stared down at her, pleading with my eyes. A moment passed where we just stood in the kitchen staring at one another and then finally she relaxed slightly.

"Fine," she sighed.

I sighed too and gestured towards the kitchen table. "Please?"

She looked at the chair and then back to me. With another sigh she pulled her purse over her shoulder and slung it onto the table before taking a seat. She was unhappy, this much I could easily see. The furrow of her brow and her slightly pouting lower lip reminded me so much of Bella.

"I see things haven't changed much around here." Renee said with a small, somewhat forced, smile, looking around the kitchen.

I took the seat across from her and tried to smile back. It felt more like a grimace than anything. I was just too tired to make those muscles work properly at the moment. "Yes well, yellow doesn't look too bad in here," I mumbled.

Renee snorted softly, "Could have fooled me."

I took a deep breath and rubbed my face roughly with my hand. I was far too tired to argue.

I was usually on better terms with Renee. Over the years we never really grew apart completely….Bella made that impossible. I suppose we could be considered very old friends. There was no bitterness between us, no resentment. She had made her choice and I had done the only thing I could at the time.

I knew the only reason Renee was acting the way she was now was because she was forced to come here….to the once place she hated. And more so than that her daughter was once again hurt. Bella has been with me a little over a year and in that short time she has gone through so much.

Happy wasn't the right word to describe how I felt when Bella made the decision to move to Forks. Despite my confusion at her choice I was ecstatic….I thought I might burst from the over load. It had been so long since I had someone else under this roof, and even longer since I had my daughter here….in _her_ room.

I don't know what I expected when she stepped off that plane. But what I saw was not it. I was shocked. I had seen her the previous summer but it seemed in that short amount of time she had grown. Not physically so much as mentally. Bella had always been mature for her age, but there was something else…..something in her eyes.

My little girl wasn't there anymore.

When we arrived home and she got settled in it wasn't the patter of little feet down the hall, or that soft giggle that filled this empty house. I had missed those years….they were forever gone and I could never bring them back. But in the process of realizing what was gone I began to get to know someone else….she was the same, but different.

I began to finally _know_ my daughter….not the child Bella, but the young woman.

She was quiet and reserved as always, and sometimes it seemed I was the only one still in the house.

But I knew better, I could feel her presence. She lit up these gloomy rooms like no amount of yellow paint ever could.

She made me laugh, she kept me in line….she made sure I had three squares a day.

I swear I've gained twenty pounds since her return.

But more than that she brought back something I had been missing for so long now….something I'd grown use to _not_ having.

Family.

And I was losing her all over again.

"Charlie?" Renee said softly, her voice trembling. "_Please_….What's going on?"

Her voice pulled me from my thoughts….and I looked up quickly from my hands. How long had I been silent?

Renee's eyes were wide as she read the despair clearly written on my face. The failure.

I had failed her again….failed Bella.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I think…." I took a deep breath, struggling to say the words I didn't want to speak, but had to. "She needs to go home….staying here isn't helping."

"I don't understand." Renee said her eyes confused and worried. "You told me Edward left her but…."

My teeth gritted together at the name and I had to swallow before I could speak. "He meant more to Bella than I thought. I didn't think their relationship was so…._developed_. She's never had a boyfriend before and I figured it was like any other…. _crush_."

To my surprise Renee smirked and shook her head. "Crush indeed."

I raised my eyebrows. "What?"

"Bella tried to sell that word on me….at the hospital in Phoenix." Renee's smiled faded and her eyes clouded over. "I knew better though….I could see it."

"Of course you could," I mumbled under my breath, I wasn't even sure she heard it.

"I still don't understand though," Renee went on. "I watched Edward with her. I've never seen a seventeen year old boy behave the way he did. He was always so careful, he never left Bella's side. The way he looked at her was so….fierce….protective…." her voice trailed off as she stared thoughtfully out the window.

"Yes," I said, my teeth clenching together. "he fooled us all….especially Bella."

Renee looked at me then, no doubt catching the anger in my voice. "This happens Charlie. She's young, boys are going to come and go….it's just….well there was something about Edward that makes it hard for me to believe he would just up and leave the way he did."

"Apparently Carlisle got a better job offer somewhere in L.A." I shook my head in disbelief "They all just left. One day they were here and then they were gone." I wasn't just angry at Edward. Over the summer Bella had become so attached to all of them and from what I saw the feelings seemed to go both ways.

Apparently my assumption had been wrong….Just another mistake to add to the list.

"And Bella?" Renee asked softly.

"Like I told you on the phone, after I found her she seemed so out of it. Dr. Gerandy said she was in shock and exhausted, that once she got some proper sleep she would be alright."

"He must not know her very well."

I opened my mouth to comment and then closed it again. What could I say? Apparently I didn't know Bella very well either or I would have seen this coming.

Some father. Renee had seen it in the few short days she had been around Bella and Edward. I had been around them for months….I should have seen.

I looked at Renee from across the small table. "I'm sorry," I said quietly "I should have called you sooner….I know I've waited too long, it's just that….well I kind of know what's she's going through. I was just mistaken in thinking she would pull through like I did."

"She just needs some time," Renee assured me.

I shook my head "I thought that too but…." I paused, I didn't know how to explain this. I hadn't told Renee over the phone every detail. I didn't know how to voice the fact that our daughter may need professional help.

"But?" Renee was getting impatient. Her foot was tapping the ground and every once in a while her head shot towards the stairs.

I took a deep breath. "It's just I wanted to prepare you...." My voice was quite, though I knew there was no one here to overhear. "The morning after I found her, I went upstairs to check on her and she was curled up on the floor. When I asked if she was okay she mumbled some things and said she was fine but she wouldn't get up." I took in another breath, preparing myself for the anger I knew was going to come. "Since then she's been in bed. She hasn't moved once. She won't speak to me and….and she hasn't eaten either."

"What!?" Renee all but shouted jumping to her feet. "Did you at least have the sense to call a doctor!?"

I stood up quickly and moved around the table. I held out my hands, ready to stop her in case she made a dash to the stairs like I knew she was about to do. ""_Yes_….I did. Dr. Gerandy came and I explained things to him. He said it sounded like she was cationic….that I might have to…."

I hesitated again.

"What do you mean you _explained _tohim….didn't you let him check her over or something?...." Renee turned on her heal and headed towards the stairs.

I was too frozen to stop her this time. "You know Bella, I didn't want her to be frightened…..she's been through enough…."

Renee made it to the bottom step before she stopped. She paused her hand on the railing. "Might have to what?" she asked in a tight voice, glancing over her shoulder but not quite looking at me.

"He said that I might….that _we_ might have to consider….hospitalization"

As soon as the last word left my mouth Renee was flying up the stairs.

By the time I reached the door Renee was already kneeling in front of Bella. When I saw that my daughter's eyes were open my stomach clenched. I had hoped when Renee saw her she would be asleep. That was easier to understand, and a little less terrifying to look at than the blank, dead stare.

"Bella?"

What little hope I had died away in that second. This was my last chance, I had hoped seeing her mother would pull Bella back….that she would respond in some way. But Bella didn't acknowledge Renee's presence anymore than she had mine.

Renee bent her head down till she was eye to eye with Bella.

"Bella?....Sweet heart?"

Nothing.

Renee looked back at me, her eyes wide. The terror in her face brought back my own and then some.

"She won't answer," I whispered hoarsely.

"Bella….come on baby it's me…._Mom_" Before I could stop her Renee reached out her hand and touched Bella's pale cheek. As soon as there was contact Bella flinched back squeezing her eyes shut.

"I should have warned you," I still couldn't raise my voice higher than a whisper. "Touching her….well, for some reason it seems to make things worse."

"How?.... I mean….what's _wrong_ with her….I don't understand." Renee looked back at Bella but her eyes were still closed, though her face seemed to be relaxed in sleep now, instead of cringing away from some unknown pain.

Renee went to reach out again but I stepped forward. "No," My voice was a bit louder, but still a whisper. "Let her sleep."

* * *

Renee was moving fast and steady, the way she always moved when she was upset. I leaned against the wall and watched as she packed up my daughters clothes so she could take her away from me for a second time. Only this time I was the one who made the choice. Instead of having Bella taken from me, I was sending her away.

I felt like I was betraying her….it felt wrong, but I couldn't think of any other way.

I was a coward, plain and simple.

"I'll get her through this Charlie," Renee said tersely. "She just needs some time and she needs to be home."

As much as it hurt to agree, I knew she was right. "Yeah," I said quietly "I think the best thing right now is for her to leave this place….I think it just holds too many memories. She needs something new….fresh."

Renee nodded without looking up from her packing. "Bella will love Florida."

"I'm sorry," I knew I had apologized more than once today but I couldn't seem to say it enough. "it's just….I didn't know what to do and I couldn't be the one….I couldn't watch…." I swallowed and willed my voice to stay steady. "If she has to be hospitalized I just can't be the one to do it….I don't think I could handle seeing that"

Renee froze looking at the folded shirt she held in her hands. "It won't come to that," she said so quietly I had to strain to hear the words.

This time I didn't agree with her, but I couldn't voice my doubt either….not here, and definitely not to her.

"Renee?" I asked softly when she still didn't move.

A soft whimper reached me then. It was familiar but unexpected. It had been many years since I heard the sound, but I soon realized time had not changed my reaction to it.

I couldn't help my next movement. Before I even thought it through completely I had her in my arms. It was automatic. Her soft cries pulled at my insides just as strongly as they had 20 years ago.

Her face was in her hands and her hands were pressed into my chest. I opened my mouth to say it would be alright….that _Bella_ would be alright and it would never come to that. But I couldn't find my voice nor the right words.

So I did the only thing I could. I rubbed her shoulders gently and waited for it to pass.

"I'm sorry…." She mumbled into her hands. "It's just I've never seen her like this…."

I sighed, "I know."

Renee took a deep breath and then went on. "I don't think I can…."

"Mom?"

Renee wrenched away from as if she'd been tazered and we both froze, staring towards the bed.

"Bella?....Oh you're….you're awake…" Renee rushed forward while I stood there in complete shock.

She had spoken.

And more than that, it looked like those brown eyes were actually _seeing_ Renee as she knelt in front of the bed.

"Hey, sweetheart."

Beneath the Joy and elation at seeing Bella awake…._truly_ awake, I began to feel a bitter twinge of loneliness. Though my whole family was together again under this roof….I felt isolated. I felt like I didn't belong in this moment.

"What are you doing here?" I could clearly see that it was my daughter speaking but the voice was so hoarse and dry I barley recognized it.

"Charlie called and told me what happened," Renee began, "I'm so sorry baby."

Bella's eyes flickered to me for a brief second, but the eyes contact drew me back.

I did belong here. And more than that I was _needed_ here.

"I….I don't understand."

I could barely hear Bella's words. They seemed so strained…like a great deal of effort was being pushed behind them.

"I'm here to bring you home sweetie….it's going to be okay, I'm…."

"I am home." The words were spoken matter-of-factly. Bella seemed to be confused with her mother's words but she seemed sure of her last statement.

Regardless of the situation I felt a surge of happiness. It didn't belong and it was very wrong in this particular moment, but I couldn't help it. Bella….my little girl, _finally_ considered this her home.

Renee threw a quick glance over her shoulder at me, raising her eyebrows.

I shrugged. What was I suppose to say?

Renee turned back and I stepped forward. I still kept my distance though, standing near the foot of the bed. Bella was staring at her dresser now and though her face was still dead of any emotion I would swear I saw something flash in her eyes.

"Bella look at me," Renee's voice was stern now and to my surprise Bella responded and looked back.

"I think it's time you come home." Renee went on softening her voice again. "So I can take care of you."

Bella's eyes stayed glued to Renee's face….blank confusion filling her pale features.

Though I didn't want to say the words that would send her away from me again, I knew I had to do something. Taking a deep breath I lowered myself to the edge of the bed and reached out to give her knee a light squeeze. "She's right Bells," I said quietly. "I think it would be better for you to be with your mother right now."

I didn't know what Bella's reaction was going to be, but her next four words was the last thing I expected.

"You don't _want_ me?"

I felt my eyes widen. How could she think such a thing….ever. I opened my mouth to tell her how ridiculous that thought was but froze when I felt a shudder run through her small frame. She took in a large gush of air and quickly squeezed her eyes shut. Then she became tense as if expecting a blow.

"Of course I do. I love having you here, more than you could ever imagine…." I went on quickly, for once unconcerned about stating the truth of my feelings. I just wanted that look gone from her face. She looked like I had slapped her and was suppressing the sting. The words _'Not normal' _ran through my head again. This whole situation was wrong. Bella shouldn't be feeling this type of emotional pain so young. If it were up to me she would _never_ feel it.

After a moment Bella relaxed some and opened her eyes. She was looking at me but her gaze seemed unfocused again. I went on anyway. "But I want you to be happy Bells, and I don't think that's going to happen if you stay here."

Her brow furrowed and she looked almost frightened. "What do you mean?....I…."

She seemed so lost. I yearned to reach out and touch her, but Renee beat me to it. Her hand gently caressed Bella's face….trying to soothe and coax her gaze back to her.

Neither happened.

Instead Bella Jerked away from the touch and her eyes instantly became angry as she looked back at her mother. Renee froze with her hand still in the air as she turned to me, her blue eyes were shocked and very hurt. I could see the glitter of moisture quickly building. Bella had never acted this way….especially to her mother.

Renee finally dropped her hand and before she turned away I saw her jaw set. "Bella I'm taking you back with me, back to Florida." Her voice wasn't harsh or mean, but her quite tone made it clear this was the end of the discussion. She stood up then and walked back to the dresser, so I was the only one to hear the whispered "_No_" that escaped Bella's lips.

"Phil's getting your room ready for us…." Renee continued packing and I could see in her posture and hear in her voice that she was not going to leave without Bella….no matter what her daughter said.

I looked between the two women warily…. and had to do a double take.

Bella was sitting up, her jaw was clenched tightly and though it seemed impossible her face had gone paler.

"I already talked to the school…." Renee went on, completely oblivious to the fact Bella had thrown her covers aside and was on her feet.

"They said all of you grades can be transferred."

All I could do was stare wide-eyed as I watched my daughter walk across the room towards her clueless mother. I couldn't find my voice, or the power to open my mouth.

"I even found out that there's a few advanced classes that Forks doesn't…." Renee flinched back as the shirt she had been holding was wrenched roughly from her hands. She threw a quick glance towards the bed, to me –still shell shocked at the foot-, and then back to Bella.

"What are you doing?" she asked, slightly breathless.

Bella had either forgotten our presence again or was flat out ignoring us as she slowly folded the shirt back up. This being my Bells I'd like to think it was the first.

When she was finished with the re-folding Bella went to place it back in the dresser drawer and froze. Every muscle in her body seemed to lock down as she stared blank eyed into one of her top drawers.

I began to feel uneasy. Something was wrong. "Bells?" I asked cautiously as I got to my feet.

As soon as her name left my mouth Bella's breathing hitched and sped up. Then in the blink of an eye her face went from bone white to dark crimson. I watched in udder amazement as deep red spread from the base of her neck to the top of her hair line.

Before either Renee or I could react Bella was moving again.

For someone who has lain in the same spot for days Bella's movements were amazingly fast. Her hands shot out one after the other, grabbing the clothing from the suitcase and shoving them back into the dresser.

As her shaking hands moved faster her breathing became shallower.

Renee was the first to pull herself together. "_Bella_!….Bella stop." She demanded grabbing one of Bella's hands.

"_No_!"

I flinched. I couldn't help it. I had never heard Bella yell like that. And it was made all the worse because of who it was aimed at.

Renee stepped back, her eyes wide.

"_No_!....I'm staying….I'm _staying_!....."

Worry began to override the shock. Bella hadn't eaten in days and her breathing was becoming more labored by the second.

"Bells calm down…." I stepped forward, my hands out. "Let's just talk about…."

"_NO_!"

This was a scream. The sound tore through my ears and made my stomach clench. My heart picked up speed as the panic of what I was actually seeing and hearing sank in.

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LEAVE!"

That's when the storm hit.

Clothes began to fly through the air and through Bella's gasps of air the screams continued. "FORKS IS MY HOME….my….my_…_." She began to shake her head. All the while her arms continued to flay, throwing her clothes behind her with more force. "HE….I…." her movements didn't slow, as her voice grew louder it seemed her body moved faster.

I watched where I was glued to the floor as her shaking hands felt around for more clothing and came up empty. But that didn't stop her. With a strangled cry of anger she grasped the now empty suitcase in both hands and spun around violently. It soared across the room and crashed loudly into the wall.

"Isabella!" Renee and I shouted at the same time.

"_NO_!"

Renee reached out and grabbed Bella's arm. "Stop Bel…."

"_NO_!" Bella jerked away roughly and fell back into her desk, knocking the blue CD player to the ground. "You can't make me….I Won't….I can't…._NO_!"

Terror seized me fast and strong in that second.

I realized what being a father did to a man.

It filled him with pride and joy and great expectations. But it also cut him down….made him vulnerable to the worse fear imaginable: _Loss_.

I was losing her….she was breaking into pieces right in front of me.

Pure instinct took over my mind then and my body reacted.

Reaching out I grabbed Bella's thin shoulders and pulled her towards me. She gave a choked cry of protest and began to fight my hold.

"Let me GO!....I'm staying….I'M STAYING!...._Forks_…._NO_!...."

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to detach myself from the pain….hers and my own. I needed to be strong, because I knew it was coming….I could _feel_ it coming.

"_NO_!" As with any creature, just when they feel defeat coming on, they fight harder. This was no different. Bella's body strained as she tried desperately to pull away. "_No_!" Small fists began to beat against me roughly. "Let _GO_!" Ignoring the pain I pulled her closer and cupped the back of her head, pressing her into my shoulder. "_NO_!...._STOP_!"

'_Let it out'_ I thought desperately _'Please, just let it go.'_

"N-NO!" It burst forth then. It was the sound I was waiting for….the sound of release.

As the agonized sob filled the room I felt Bella's weight increase. She began to slip towards the floor. Slowly I lowered both our bodies and pulled her more securely against my chest.

"Ple-ease…._please_…._please_…." The words were broken up between gut wrenching sobs, and I could barely make out the one word being repeated again and again.

"It's alright….I'm here Bells, I'm here." My body was unconsciously rocking….the way I use to when she was small. Though I couldn't recall a time when my daughter had ever cried like this….even as a baby.

Just as this thought entered my head however the sobs increased, in both strength and volume.

Violent tremors rocked through her whole frame and just when I thought it couldn't get worse, that she couldn't possibly have anything left I heard a rage filled cry rip its way out between the endless tears. "He….sa-aid….He…."

I didn't understand what she was trying to say, and it didn't really matter. The only thing that mattered was holding her together long enough for her to get it out.

"_Forever_!....I….I told…. hi-im….I ….sa-aid…" Her head began to shake frantically against my shirt and I had to fight off the emotion climbing its way up my chest. I _had_ to be strong.

"NO!....I can't….I….Ca-an't…" The nonsense of words continued to slip out becoming less coherent with each cry and gasp of air. "_No_!...._No_!"

Bella's next action undid what little fight I had. Her arms wrapped around my body and she pulled herself even closer. Trembling hands grabbed fist full's of the back of my shirt and her hold became strong and frantic.

"I….can't….I can't…. do….thi-is…." This time the chocked out words were full of fear.

The desperate hold she had on me, the heart wrenching sobs, and the pure terror that seemed to radiate off her body was too much.

My breathing hitched, making a painful knot form in the base of my throat.

"It's n-not real…he….he's real…he li-ied to me…h-he _LIED_!..."

"I know Bells…I know…"

"Please Daddy….ple-ease…."

It has been over a decade since I heard my daughter call me that and it broke me. My eyes began to sting and the brown hair that had been blocking my vision blurred.

"I do-on't….want….to leave….I don't….I ca-an't….If I…if…"

Warm moisture began to fall relentlessly down my cheeks. I swallowed thickly, trying to force the words out of my tight throat. "Alright Bella….Okay. It's okay. You can stay." If this was what she wanted, what she _truly_ needed then I would never force her to leave.

I glanced up and blinked my eyes into focus. There Renee stood, leaning against the wall. Her hands were over her mouth while tears flowed thickly from her red eyes. She glanced up from Bella's trembling form.

We locked eyes, and without saying a word I said it all.

'_She is staying with me.' _

Over the years I had been pushed aside. From one situation to the next. Renee had made all the decisions in Bella's life. Every single discussion and struggle we had had over our daughter she had won again and again. But not this time. Renee would not win _this_ fight.

This time –for the first time- it was _my_ foot being put down.

My daughter was staying with _me_.

I may not understand it….his leaving, her reaction, this pain….but I did comprehend one thing: Bella needed me right now, she needed this place, this house, this town….she needed it all.

She needed her father.

Renee didn't look away as she nodded her silent agreement.

* * *

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**There it is. I'm not sure if this is done yet. One of my reviewers gave me an idea, so I'm going to leave this open for now and see if anything comes to me. H****ere's a special thanks to "icrodriquez" for giving me the idea. *claps* **

**BUT in the mean time I have to work on my other fic. I'm sure some of you would like that updtaed sooner than this one. LOL. **

**Anyhoo Thanks to all my reviewers, I hope you enjoyed Charlie's POV. Leave me a review and let me know what you think. I Luv hearing from you guys. ;)**

**Till next time!**


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